What About Those Age Gaps?

When you’re picturing your perfect date in your mind’s eye, who do you see? What’s her age? Is she younger than you? You might not want to rule out women who are older than you.

Most women who are more than a couple of years older (currently referred to as cougars – think Demi Moore with Ashton Kutcher) have no problem dating younger men, and as long as you have things in common and are attracted to each other, there’s no problem with this.

Likewise, you can date younger women with relatively few troubles as long as you have common ground. When you allow for dating that’s maybe a few years out of what you might call your ideal range, you stand to meet many more interesting and fun women, possibly the right one for you.

Even though you’ve opened yourself to the possibilities of more dates, there are things you need to be aware of when dating out of your age range. Consider carefully whether or not you want to partner up with a woman who wants to have, and can have children.

Some women who are older have children already and are not interested in starting another family. You’re going to find older women in both groups – those that do want kids (or more kids), and those that don’t.

Depending upon age, an older woman may no longer be able to have children. Younger women, especially those who are significantly younger than you, can be lots of fun, and they certainly can be attractive.

But younger women may or may not have the maturity that you’d like to see in someone you want to be in a committed relationship with. Very young women, or younger women who are new to dating after a long-term relationship, might just be looking for fun right now.

That’s great, but if you’re looking for a possible real relationship, someone who’s just looking for a roll in the hay or a fun night out doing shots might not be your best bet. There are young women out there who possess maturity and are very well developed emotionally.

Another caution where younger women are concerned is that they may just be looking for a sugar daddy. Of course, this could happen with older women, too. Sometimes young women are attracted to older men because they are established professionally and are more financially stable than men in their age group.

Unfortunately, they might be looking for a stable, nice guy to foot the bill for continuing education or just a lot of clothes and a nice house. Be sure you get to know any younger date very, very well, before you commit to her. Gold digging is a common practice in some circles.

Just remember that you’ll meet great, stable, healthy (both physically and emotionally), beautiful women in their twenties, thirties, forties, fifties and beyond. If you’re happy being with them, and you share common interests and goals, then go for it.

But you’ll also meet gold-diggers and women who want someone to take care of them financially and otherwise – they come in all ages as well. As with any dating situation, know what you want, and what you don’t.

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Dr. Molly Goodman is founder of the Goodman Institute For Better Sex.
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