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Does This Woman Deserve Your Heart?

You’ve met the woman of your dreams – you think. You’ve been dating for some time and things are getting pretty serious. You’re at the point where you’re becoming exclusive (or maybe you’re thinking about making things even a bit more permanent).

Before you ask her to move in with you, or marry you, you have to ask yourself, "Does this woman deserve my heart?" Answer it completely honestly. Remember, it isn’t only her judging whether you are worthy, but you deciding whether she is worthy of you.

When the idea of permanence enters into your head, it’s time to take a few deep breaths and really think things through – even if it means that you’ll be putting off having the exclusive dating talk, or the moving in together talk, or the marriage proposal.

These things are a big deal and because of that, you absolutely need to take your time and know in your heart that she’s the kind of person you want to spend an eternity. Here are some questions that you need to ask yourself:

Are we truly compatible? If your intention is to make this relationship more permanent, this is a good question to ask. Not just if you both like dogs and macaroni and cheese and hockey, but are you compatible on a deeper level.

Are you on the same page when it comes to the really important things like kids, spirituality, finances and other things that will eventually play a very important part in your life together? If you don’t see eye-to-eye, have the two of you figured out how you’re going to compromise or where your common ground will be?

Is she good to you? This is something that some people forget to ask when they’re just plain head over heels in love or your family and friends like her a lot and are pressuring you.

Is she kind to you? Does she respect your dreams, goals and ideas? How does she treat you when you’re out with friends? How does she treat you when you’re alone? Does she apologize if she’s made a mistake? Is she controlling? Is she loyal to you?

Is she someone that you really, truly like? You have to be able to like this person, not just love her. Do you enjoy her company most of the time? Do you respect her and what she stands for? Are you comfortable with the way she treats your family and friends?

Can you picture spending your life with her? Do you have visions of sitting on the front porch in his and her rocking chairs while your grandchildren play at your feet? Do you feel comfortable committing yourself to this person?

As you consider these questions, make sure you’re honest with yourself. Small differences can probably be worked out, and nobody is perfect. But if you’re uncomfortable with committing to something more serious, then wait until you’re sure you’re ready.

The worst thing that can happen is that you’ll have to get back into the dating scene. Just make sure you’re getting someone who you’re happy and comfortable with. Never settle for less than you deserve.

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Dr. Molly Goodman is founder of the Goodman Institute For Better Sex.
See the online dating site she recommends...

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