Find a Woman Who’s Compatible With Your Lifestyle

Compatibility is the foundation of a good relationship. If you don’t have things in common and if your ideas about what the future should hold don’t match, you’re going to have problems keeping a relationship going.

That’s why it’s important to date women who you’re compatible with. She doesn’t have to love everything that you love or vice versa, but the two of you do need to have common interests and goals.

You have to know yourself before you can embark on any serious dating. Think about what’s important to you. Do those things have to be important to her? Which ones? Think about what you want for your future. Kids? A farm in the country? A busy social life that includes parties every weekend?

Do you want someone who’s a neat freak or a relaxed housekeeper (so she won’t gripe at you about the socks you left on the bedroom floor)? Are you a coach potato? A thrill-seeker? What if your job requires you to travel a lot – you need someone who will be okay with that, right?

All of these questions and others that are similar are important when you’re looking for a woman. Even though she doesn’t have to be your clone in female form, it’s best if you agree on the fundamentals, and you definitely have to agree on the deal-breakers.

If it’s really important to you to have a large brood of children, you better make sure that the women you seriously date want that, too. If it’s important to you that your home has an open-door policy for all of your friends, you need to make sure she’s okay with that idea.

Thinking that she’ll change her mind after you’re together for awhile is a bad risk, so if she isn’t on the same wavelength as you when it comes to the things you consider to be high on your list of life’s priorities, you need to look elsewhere.

If a woman is smart (and you’re dating nice, smart women, right?), she will also have her own priorities and will be upfront with you when the time comes. If you fall in love with someone who doesn’t share your wants and must-haves, ask yourself if there will be a way to compromise so that you’re both happy.

If not, you’re better off just letting the relationship go and finding someone who’s a better fit. This is your life – don’t settle. With the thousands of available women that live within your geographical area, and millions outside of it, you’re sure to find several who want the same things in life that you want - whether it’s kids, a horse farm, or to sail around the world and live on a boat. As you date and get to know each woman, you’ll find out more about her and your potential for long-term compatibility.

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Dr. Molly Goodman is founder of the Goodman Institute For Better Sex.
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