How to Compliment a Woman with Sincerity

Everyone loves compliments, and well-placed compliments play a very important role in attracting and dating a woman (they’re also very important once you’ve snagged her). Let’s take a look at the best way to give compliments without being overbearing and scaring her away.

Assuming that you’re just getting to know the woman you want to compliment, or you’ve just barely met her and you want to strike up a conversation, you need to come up with a compliment that’s sincere.

This requires you to pay attention and notice something unique about her that you appreciate. It might be the color of her eyes, her command of the English language, or her expertise with PowerPoint.

In the very beginning, it’s probably better to compliment a skill rather than a physical attribute, but either can be acceptable if done right. For example, you’ve noticed that she has beautiful green eyes, but you don’t really know her.

You can always be forthright and say, "Excuse me, you have really pretty eyes." The problem with this approach is that you may get a smile and a "thank you" or you might get a look of disgust because she feels you’re using a cheesy pick-up line.

Compliments about what she’s wearing or her body are best left completely alone in order to avoid sounding like you’re out for one thing. Sometimes any compliments regarding physical beauty are better left until you know her better.

Depending on the situation, if you pay attention you can probably come up with a number of compliments that will make her happy and make her want to have a conversation with you.

In a situation where you have a chance to observe her or even listen to her before you actually start a conversation and try to compliment her, you have a good chance of gathering compliments to use later on.

You can find out more about her – her interests and her personality. This can also help you form good compliments. A compliment doesn’t have to be something like "Hey, I like your eyes," or "Wow! Beauty and brains – I like that!"

A subtler type of compliment might be a positive statement about things that you have in common, such as "I really liked hearing your thoughts about the environment. I think it’s important that we search for alternative energy sources, too." This tells her that you admire her viewpoint and agree with it.

Be careful not to hand out too many compliments in a short period of time. If you do, she will immediately become suspicious of your motives (unless she’s really needy), and she’ll probably back off quickly.

A compliment at the beginning of a conversation is probably enough. If you must throw in another, give it a few minutes or add it to your goodbye. Anything more than that is going to make you sound desperate - and that’s an automatic turn-off.

While every woman wants compliments, and lots of them, it’s important not to slather them on too thick. Giving compliments with sincerity is a good skill to learn, and it can get you a "yes" when you ask a woman out on a date. The keys are to pay attention, be appropriate, and don’t overdo it. She’ll appreciate your efforts and if you work at this skill, it’s sure to pay off.

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Dr. Molly Goodman is founder of the Goodman Institute For Better Sex.
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