Nice Guys: This Isn’t Your Father’s Dating School

Your dad was a lucky guy. He met mom in high school, maybe college, fell in love and the rest is history. That’s a beautiful thing when it happens, but these days, it’s not so much like that. We graduate from school and everyone scatters across the globe.

The old connections aren’t in place the way they used to be and modern dating has taken on a whole new face. Besides that, it’s a very rare occurrence, at least in western societies, for people to get married and start families at young ages.

Your parents might have been married when they were 18 or 19. We (meaning both men and women) want to get through college and maybe grad school, we head to parts unknown during our young years to explore and see the world, we get careers started, and maybe change them a couple of times.

And we want choices, too. Not to say that dear old mom and dad didn’t have choices. But they didn’t have the Internet, nor were they as inclined or able to travel the world, or even the country in search of Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. So, that brings us to you. You’re looking for Mrs. Right, and you’re wondering where and how to find her.

It’s time to learn how the dating world works today. TV shows would have you think that it’s all about hitting the clubs and drinking martinis while casting mysterious glances at scantily clad women. Nice idea, but seriously, for most people it’s not like that.

You might go to clubs and have a great time, but dating takes place in a huge variety of venues and on any day at any time. You can meet women during a night out at the club, or a hockey game, or doing volunteer clean-ups at the local nature center.

You might find her at the corner café during lunch breaks or while you’re at the airport waiting to board a plane. The way today’s world is – fast-paced and always changing - there’s a good chance you could meet someone interesting anywhere at any time.

And because women are much different today than in the past, she might enjoy a hockey game as a date, just as much as she’d enjoy dinner and a movie. There are no hard and fast rules any more about where to meet women, or how to have a date.

You need to learn to always be ready, and think on your feet. You need to be open to possibilities as they present themselves. And you need to be ready to step out of your comfort zone.

Get it in your mind that dating is a world that you already live in, and opportunities are presenting themselves to you on a regular basis. Your next date could be the woman you meet at the gym, or in the elevator or at the bookstore.

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Dr. Molly Goodman is founder of the Goodman Institute For Better Sex.
See the online dating site she recommends...

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